The Chunk.

... no I'm not talking about the result of eating an entire bag of Halloween candy by myself. I'm talking about the greatest redneck event since the invention of NASCAR. Only this is better than NASCAR. This, is Punkin Chunkin.

Now before we discuss the greatest event in the history of events, there's something you should know about me. I'm a dirty girl. Not in the way that I don't shower every day ... I do, don't worry. But there's nothing I love more than spending a few days in the woods, swapping showers for a bandana, eating dirty trail mix, sleeping outside, and returning more dirty & tired than you thought possible. Case in point, camping in Dolly Sods. Probably the dirtiest I've ever been. Or at least top 5. You see ... we camped in the middle of a wilderness area, took off for a hike (in an area with no marked trails) without a compass or map, got lost in a thunderstorm, and then had a mud fight on our way back to our tents.

Filthy.

Now back to Punkin Chunkin. The reason for the event is for "engineers" to build ridiculous contraptions that fling pumpkins. The pumpkin that goes the farthest is the winner. They had a whole show on the Science channel about it. But really, the point of P.C. is to be the greatest tailgating event known to man. One time we didn't even make it to the event and just pulled over in a random field. It was fabulous. People drive for hours through the middle of nowhere, to arrive at the middle of nowhere a.k.a. the middle of a used-to-be corn field, to tailgate their asses off. We don't watch the pumpkins, although one time I did ride a mechanical bull and eat a funnel cake. Does that count as participating? But in order to enjoy this event you either have to be, A: a total redneck. (I mean people bring their huntin' dogs and wear their camouflage overalls to this thing) or B. Someone who doesn't mind getting dirty. Because you get dirty. Very dirty.

See ... cornfield.

This awesome event happens to be this weekend. Sadly we will not be attending because it's one of those things that takes place back east. Along with leaves changing colors, and the Preakness, and people popping their collars. To all the people tailgating: have fun, we'll miss you. I speak for myself, Charlie, and the dogs.