last week at home.

i love the mornings when we go back to sleep after 6 am.

this is my last week at home with miss avery.  i may have cried while filling out paperwork for daycare.  wednesday was fabulous.  avery slept for a 7 hour stretch tuesday night! and then went back to sleep until 6 am and then even took a short nap after that.  it was raining outside, freezing rain which we almost never get, so we stayed in bed for another hour just napping.  i think every day should start with an extra hour of sleep.  

we went to look at more homes.  can this be over soon please?  we finally found a home that we both liked, in a good school district, which didn't need a lot of work.  and then we found out that it was under contract.  just 4 days after it had been listed.  so, we're back to looking at some older homes that need a little tlc.  we'll see.  

i cannot believe that i have to drop avery off at daycare on tuesday.  the other night i had a dream that i was dropping her off and then i couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.  every time i walk by the school it makes me sad.  and i walk by every day.  i get sad a lot.  i know she'll be fine, but i just don't want her to go.  i'm also stressed out about pumping at work and having enough milk for her during the days.  my goal was to make it to 1 year without supplementing formula and i'm worried about making that happen.  i know that a little formula would be fine, but this is something that i really do want.  both for me and for avery.  i was on a conference call the other day and my boss said 'we're so excited to have you back in the office' and i couldn't really say anything.  i know i should have said 'can't want to see you, too' but all i could think was 'it's the last place i want to be'.  maybe it would be easier if i liked my job or found it stimulating, but in all honesty my job is boring.  i spend a lot of time reading regulations, putting together powerpoints, and on conference calls.  and then i worry that a regulator will come to a facility and we'll be fined a couple hundred thousand dollars for something stupid.  

she's thinking, 'just keep walking, dad'.

avery's napping now and we're going to run some errands when she wakes up.  tonight is pizza night, which i started doing about a month ago because i cannot think of enough meals to cook for 7 days a week.  friday's used to be eat at a restaurant night but since our baby likes for us to pace up and down the house between the hours of 5 pm and 8 pm dinners out don't happen much any more.  to be honest, i don't really miss them.