moments.

when i was pregnant with ellie and was just finishing up work i was a little apprehensive about how i would fill my days without work.  my work from home gig was really more of a working remotely gig.  i had set hours, conference calls, etc., etc., and had to sort of parent and take care of avery around my work schedule.  it was definitely flexible but i didn't make my own schedule and i couldn't dictate when and how things happened.  all that being said work filled a lot of my days and gave them a purpose.  not that taking care of littles is purposeless but at the end of the day there's usually not concrete evidence that i've accomplished anything.  and i liked being able to look at my list of things to do and see that i had completed things and was further ahead than where i started the day.  i also liked using my brain in a way that being a stay at home mom doesn't provide for.  all of that to say that i was worried that once i was at home full-time i would feel like i hadn't accomplished anything at the end of the day and therefore would start to go a little crazy.  it's definitely taken some time but i can say that i've gotten used to the idea that taking care of these kids is what i do all day and simply ending the day with everyone fed and relatively happy is somewhat satisfying for me right now.  i definitely miss being a part of the working world, using my brain in a different way, and having people value my opinions on things other than how to wash diapers.  however, at the end of the day i feel satisfied.  i've sort of learned to accept the messes and hold those kids a little longer because before i know it they'll be too big for me to hold and i'll be wishing for these days back.