winter.

this winter has been rough.  avery now has the flu (which is the fourth time she's been sick this winter), both charlie and i had it earlier, and i'm just praying that ellie escapes it.  our pediatrician is not above attempting to scare me into flu shots for all (i refuse!) but it doesn't help my worry when one or all of us fall sick.  anyway, add that to subzero temps, a baby who can start screaming at the drop of a hat (for no apparent reason), and a husband working around the clock with lots of travel thrown in and things have not been easy.  

i feel bad for my kids.  it's always sad to see a baby cry and cry and not be able to figure out why and i hate seeing anyone i love get sick, but i'm not going to lie, i also feel bad for myself a bit.  ellie seems to do better when we get out of the house and that's not possible when a is sick.  so housebound we are.  there are moments of peace.  usually in the middle of the day but the evenings are really rough a lot of the time.  even if ellie isn't crying i'm always on pins and needles just waiting for it to start.  if charlie's around i don't worry as much because if she does start crying i can just go take care of her but if he's not around then it's so hard because i still have to feed avery, clean up dinner, get her ready for bed, etc. etc. when all i want to do is stop the baby from crying.  i think ellie's pretty sensitive to light and noise (i thought second children were supposed to be immune to this stuff) so come 6ish she's ready for a dark and quiet room and avery doesn't go to bed until 7.    

the one saving grace has been that avery sleeps well, both naps and nights, and even when she's sick.  and ellie actually does really well at night.  it can take a while to get her to sleep but that first stretch is usually around 6 hours, which is pretty good in my book!

i've been reading the long winter to avery at random times.  she seems to like it even if she's way too young for it and it's been fairly appropriate as we've been feeling trapped in our house staring longingly at the playground.  i don't know how people in colder climates do it!  are they just hardier and therefore they brave the cold and everyone survives? or do they just stay indoors?

last week we had a few doctors appointments and we also made a trip to the bookstore to read books and play with legos.  avery had a great time and then got the flu 2 days later.  poor kid.  we have so many makeup gymnastics classes to do but i see no point in attempting to make them up until the flu season is behind us.  

yesterday i spent hours slaving over a soup that was dinner for that night but also supposed to be dinner for the next three nights for avery and i.  i cannot cook in the evenings unless charlie's around to soothe ellie and he's gone this whole week.  also, this is my soup that i like to make when people are sick since it has all of those good-for-you things in it to help fight off germs.  anyway, i came downstairs this morning and found the pot of soup sitting on the stove.  i had forgotten to put it in the refrigerator.  and so i started crying.  avery was in full blown whine/cry mode because she wanted juice, no not that juice the other juice, and then she wanted a paper towel from mommy NOT daddy, but mommy was busy crying in the corner.  

we will survive.  i am counting the days until spring.  and i know ellie can't be this volatile forever.  i still love her a lot.  but man, the constant crying sort of breaks my heart.  when she falls asleep i just stare at her, trying to freeze the image of a sweet sleeping baby and save it for those evening hours when i need it most.