today was a good day.

the past few days have been really, really good.  yes there are tantrums and crying at various times but that's to be expected for life with a toddler and a baby. as a whole the days have been really fun.  they've been feeling balanced and i've felt like i've really been enjoying them instead of just holding my breath until the next screamfest.  charlie's been gone for a few days for work and it sort of feels like we're on vacation.  not because life without him is a vacation.  i miss him! we all do. but because there's no set times for anything.  we can sort of just do as we please and weekends and weekdays are all the same to us without his work schedule dictating things.  anyway, i was sort of dreading this trip because not only do i miss him but 7 days of solo parenting can be hard.  but so far it's been really, really good.  we've gotten out of the house every day.  ellie's been napping just a smidge more which makes her happier and allows for 15 minutes here and there where avery and i can spend some one on one time.  and this has made a huge difference with avery.  she really needs that quality time i think.  and, dare i say, ellie's been just a bit more content, which as also made all of the difference.  i've also gotten into a groove of when and how i do things alone and i've accepted the fact that there will not be homemade dinners on the table and the house will be a bit messier and that, too, has helped.  in short, i've shown myself a bit of grace when judging if a day was successful, which is something i should have done awhile ago.  the dishes will get done once the kids are in bed.  the clothes may take a day or two to get folded, and i'll vacuum when charlie's back in town.  this has made my days much happier.  i get to focus on spending time with avery and ellie:  reading books, playing silly games, hitting up the playground, and watching them grow way too fast. i look at them sometimes and cannot understand how they're so big and where the time has gone.  it's been nice to just enjoy that time lately instead of stressing about the dirty dishes.