homeward bound.

well, as of this evening i'm officially a stay at home mom.  it feels so weird to say that.  especially because if you had told my 21 year old self that i'd be leaving the work force to stay at home with my kids in 9 years i would have never believed you.  but, time changes things i guess.  or at least it has the potential to.  and while i never would have predicted that i would be leaving a career to raise my kids, i feel strangely at peace with this decision.  actually, i feel a lot of things about it:  gratitude, excitement, and just a little bit of wonder about what the future holds.

i have a lot of hope for this next chapter in our lives.  i hope that we're able to spend a lot of quality family time together.  i hope that it brings a sense of balance to our family.  i hope that we're able to both enjoy the little things and let the little things go.  i hope that charlie and i are able to fit in some alone time after adding a second baby to the mix.  i hope that i'm able to do some contract work this year.  i hope that this time as a family with young kids doesn't fly by too fast.  

i have really enjoyed these past 2 years with avery.  working from home part time has been both crazy and amazing all at once and i really wouldn't have traded that for anything.  it was an opportunity that i dreamed about when i was pregnant with her and searching for daycares that i didn't want to send her to and i feel so fortunate to have been able to live that for the past 2 years.  but there was no way that i could take care of two kids and work at the same time and be both a good mom and a good employee and i have no regrets about the decision we made for me to stay home at this point in our lives.  

i'm hoping that avery and i are able to get into a good routine that lets us get out of the house a lot more than we have been with me working.  i'm also hoping that i'm able to do some fun activities with her while taking care of a newborn without driving myself a little crazy.  

i know that there were always be laundry to do, dinners to cook, and floors to vacuum.  but hopefully i can always stop in the middle of the mess and appreciate all of the time that i get to spend with my kids.