baby things.

the thing that is so awesome about babies is that everyone loves them.  not that everyone loves your child, but that everyone loves the idea of babies.  this was something i really never got until after avery was born.  frankly i thought it was weird when people wanted to talk to me about her, probably partially because i'm from d.c. and we don't make small talk or like strangers.  i was also a little freaked out because we had a baby born in the middle of the winter, in a state where a lot of people don't vaccinate their children, and every night there was something on the news about a pertussis outbreak.  but eventually i got it, people like babies for two reasons: 1. it reminds them of the days when they themselves had a newborn and never slept more than 3 hours at a time and 2. even if they've never had babies themselves they get that this is probably one of the sweetest times in someone's life.  anyway, as a result of all of this people are really nice and make things for your unborn baby.  we have piles and piles of baby blankets that were knit/crocheted for us.  i'm not kidding.  i have a drawer and an entire shelf full of handmade baby blankets.  

however, i don't have any quilts if anyone is reading and feels inspired to make avery a quilt please be my guest.  she likes pink and aqua.

one of my favorite handmade gifts that i got for avery was a hat.  my parents each made avery a hat which i blogged about here.  and she lived in the hat that my dad made her all winter long.  seriously, that hat was awesome and we got so many compliments on it.  guys especially, which is funny to me, would go out of their way to say how cool it was and ask where we got it.  that hat is now, sadly, too small for her.  the hat she's trying so hard to take off in these pictures was from a co-worker.

dad, you should know that avery's still waiting for her hat for this winter.  no pressure or anything.

anyway, i think the whole point of this is that babies are pretty cool in the way that they seem to bring out the nice in people.  it's taken me a while to figure that out, when avery cries in a restaurant or screeches at the top of her lungs for no reason i always look around ready to make a mad dash out of there or at least offer an apology but people don't seem to mind and usually use it as an opening to talk about her or their own babies or grandbabies.  i have a feeling that we're closely nearing the end of the time when being loud in public is still cute and not considered a lapse in parenting on our parts so i should probably enjoy it while it still lasts.  but it's been nice and it's definitely made me more empathetic to other parents.  
    

things i love about having a newborn ...

...  when she falls asleep in my arms.  all warm and snugly.

...  when she's tired and lays her head on my shoulder.

...  how just about everything is made better in her world by nursing.

...  how much she grows and changes every day.

...  watching charlie with her.

...  big smiles at 4 am in the morning.  they make the lack of sleep not matter so much.

...  watching her sleep.

...  how easy she is to take places.  car rides = sleep.

...  baby fingers and toes.

...  trying to decide who she's going to look like.

...  she makes daytime naps and 8:30 bedtimes acceptable.

...  first everythings.

avery's birth story

i'm mostly writing this so that i don't forget how amazing and terrifying this experience was. 

i'm also hoping that it will remind me why i need to look for a new doctor and place of delivery for any future children.  

but mostly, i want to write this so that i can remember just how lucky we are to have a healthy baby girl.  things definitely could have turned out differently and i'm so thankful that they didn't. 

my due date was december 7th.  all throughout the pregnancy i was expecting to be late, probably because statistically most new moms are.  however, i still started thinking "any day now" at 37 weeks, which meant by the time my due date arrived i felt like she was already 3 weeks late.  my plan had always been to work until i had the baby, and i felt very fortunate to have a job that was willing to let me take it one day at a time.  for a few weeks people weren't sure if i was showing up the next day, which i'm sure was a little difficult for them.  it's made a huge difference to me though because instead of wasting 2 weeks of maternity leave waiting for a baby i was able to save it all for when she was here.  

i had always assumed that if i was pregnant at my 41 week appointment then my doctor would induce me.  he had made it very clear all along that he didn't want me to go past 41 weeks because after 40 weeks the placenta gets 'old'.  although, i wasn't sure how i felt about that.  i know that there were many people who delivered late and had healthy babies and i really wanted to give my body and this baby the time they needed.  i also wasn't thrilled about having an induction and was concerned about an increased risk of a c-section if i had to be induced.  at my 41 week appointment we did a non-stress test on the baby and i opted out of an ultrasound to check amniotic fluid levels.  the baby did fine on the non-stress test and when i met with the doctor he basically told us that there was no advantage to being induced at that point versus waiting another week to see if i would go into labor on my own.  he was also leaving to go on vacation so at that point i knew that whoever was going to deliver my baby was going to be someone i had never met before.  while i had never been thrilled with my doctor, it was a little unnerving knowing that the doctor making decisions with me the following week would be someone i had never met.  

i went in for my 42 week appointment and met a brand new doctor who was pretty clean about the fact that she wasn't happy that a) i hadn't been induced the previous week and b) my previous doctor had 'dumped' me on her.  she made it very clear that despite the fact that the baby passed the non-stress test again at 42 weeks, i should have been induced the week before.  her advice was that i should go into the hospital that night to be induced, although she said we could wait a few more days if we really felt strongly about it.  at that point, i felt like an induction was inevitable and decided to go into the hospital that night.  the good news was that i liked her better than my previous doctor and she was the doctor on call that night, which meant at least i would know who was going to deliver my baby.  

charlie and i spent the rest of that monday, december 19th, running errands and trying to keep relatively busy.  we gave the dogs baths, cleaned the house, i tried to nap knowing that i wouldn't get any sleep for a while, and charlie made my my 'last meal'.  we dropped the dogs off with a friend around 9 pm and headed to the hospital for our 10 pm induction.  once we got to the hospital, i met our labor and delivery nurse for the night (who i didn't like at all) and i was hooked up to an IV, a blood pressure cuff, and fetal monitors.  while, i was expecting all of the following once they started administering pitocin, i wasn't prepared for being hooked up to the monitors as soon as i went in.  i definitely was having a hard time because i knew that this meant that regardless of what drugs i would receive i was essentially bed bound.  they then gave me cytotec, which was supposed to ripen my cervix.  the plan was to give me 2 doses of the cytotec, each four hours apart, and then start pitocin in the morning.  the first dose of cytotec essentially induced labor.  i started having contractions about a half hour after the first dose and never received the second dose.  about an hour after contractions started the baby's heart rate dropped to about 60 bpm.  since i was on an external monitor, the nurse spent the next several hours in my room adjusting the monitor and then instructing me not to move.  they also put me on oxygen which i wasn't able to take off for the next 14 hours.  the baby seemed to do much better when i was on my right side, so i was told not to move from that side.  at this point the contractions were getting stronger and more frequent and being stuck in one position made it even harder to deal with them.  they were definitely a lot more painful than i had anticipated and knowing that i had at least 12 more hours of them was mentally exhausting.  

after about 8 hours, i decided that i wanted the epidural.  i know charlie was hoping i would do it naturally, but i was exhausted and only about 3 cm dilated at that point.  also, the fact that they kept losing the baby's heartbeat and dealing with not being able to switch positions was making them even more difficult.  when they came to do the epidural, i was having a hard time relaxing enough during the contractions so that they could actually get a needle in my back.  once they finally got it in it took about 3 contractions for it to completely set in.  i was expecting the epidural to dull the pain but i wasn't expecting it to completely take away all of it.  after a bit charlie would watch the monitor for when i was having a contraction and ask if i could feel it, and i felt nothing at this point.  the best part was that i could sleep a bit, however after the epidural they hooked me up to even more monitors, a pulse monitor, heart rate monitors all over my chest, my blood pressure was being taken every 5 minutes and the cuff got so tight that i literally ripped it off twice because it wasn't loosening. 

after the epidural, they were still having problems with the baby's heart rate.  it would be fine for a bit and then drop again.  previously, the nurse had been concerned enough that she got the doctor twice.  i remember telling charlie that i thought i'd end up with a c-section that night because the heart rate kept dropping.  instead, they kept adjusting the monitors.  at one point after the epidural, the heart rate dropped and then the monitors lost the hear beat.  within minutes we had 6 nurses and the doctor in the room and they were all frantically trying to find a heart beat.  at this point they ripped off the external monitors and inserted internal monitors.  after the internal monitors, they weren't able to find the connection piece to the machine and were all running around trying to locate the correct wire while there was still no way to track the heart beat.  at this point the doctor got pretty annoyed and i remember thinking that if i wasn't so exhausted i would have been a lot more worried.  they finally found the heart beat, but it definitely made me nervous.

when they give me the epidural they also started a pitocin drip.  however, when the baby's heart rate dropped again they had to turn the drip off since you can't use pitocin when there are any signs of fetal distress.  luckily, once labor started my body continued to have contractions and progress.  once i got the epidural i was progressing at about 1 cm an hour despite all of the other issues.  the doctor had basically told me that it was a race to see who would win first either my body (as in i would progress enough to be complete and start pushing) or the baby (as in it wouldn't be able to handle the labor any more and would have to be delivered via a c-section).  she also made it very clear that the reason that i was having all of these issues with the baby's heartbeat was because i had waited too long to be induced, therefore the placenta was too old and wasn't able to supply the baby with enough oxygen.  she told me that when i delivered she was betting that the placenta had calcifications all over it and even at one point came up to me and said "repeat after me: for my next baby i will schedule an induction at 39 weeks".  despite being out of it, i remember saying "39 weeks? that seems a little crazy".  the nurses all made similar comments to me about waiting too long to be induced.  let me tell you, there is nothing worse than being in labor, repeatedly watching your baby's heart rate drop, and then having the entire medical staff blame you for the drop in heart rate.    

despite all of the heart rate issues, i continued to progress and was at 10 cm around 11 am the next day.  the doctor water the baby out as soon as possible, but there was a small part of my cervix that was still in the way and it didn't recede when i was pushing.  they decided to give me another hour and see if it would disappear before pushing.  at this point i was feeling a ton of pressure, and despite the epidural it felt like the baby was coming out on it's own.  it had dropped really low at that point and i remember the doctor saying that she could actually see the hair on it's head.  after an hour the nurse came and checked me and found that i was ready to push.  unfortunately the doctor was delivering another baby at that time and since there had been so many issues with the baby's heart rate they didn't want to start without her.  at this point she left to get my doctor, the baby's doctor, and other staff and charlie started to flip out.  he was already nervous after all of the previous issues but was really angry that we were waiting on staff to deliver the baby especially considering she wasn't handling labor terribly well.  

when the doctor came in she told us that she thought the baby was going to have a difficult time during delivery and that we didn't have much time to get the baby out.  she also said that if the heart rate dropped again we would need to make a decision between having a c-section and using a vacuum delivery.  i opted for the vacuum delivery if everything else was still okay.  i pushed for about an hour at which point the baby was about to crown.  it's heart rate dropped right as it was crowning, the doctor grabbed the vacuum to use through those last few pushes.  the vacuum popped off at one point but the baby's head was essentially out.  once it's head was out they found that the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck 3 times.  the doctor cut the cord right away and blood went flying everywhere.  i pushed one more time and she came out.  they laid her on top of me for a minute while they rubbed her and hearing her cry was definitely reassuring.  charlie was essentially speechless, when he saw the cord wrapped around her neck and her face was all blue (something he didn't realize was normal) he thought she wasn't going to make it.  the nurses had to tell me that it was a girl before he recovered enough to talk.  they took her right away and monitored her for a bit.  despite the cord issues she was fine, and had apgar scores of 7/9.  they finally gave her to me and told me her stats:  19.5 inches and 6.0 pounds.  she weighed less than i was expecting, but for some reason was bigger than i was expecting.  

as it turned out my placenta was just fine.  the reason for her heart rate dropping consistently was the cord that was wrapped around her neck 3 times.  we delivered at a pretty small hospital and it was clear that this was a big deal to them.  i had doctors and nurses coming in and talking about how they heard all about her delivery.  

i am so thankful that she was born healthy.  the combination of sleep deprivation, drugs, and being hooked up to so many monitors was so overwhelming that i didn't really realize how scary the situation was until after she was born.  on one hand it's a good thing because it meant that i was relatively calm during the whole process but it's also scary looking back and realizing how serious the situation was.  

a few other things:  

1.  i am very thankful that i was able to have a vaginal birth.  despite the epidural i was up and walking that evening and never took anything aside from motrin for the pain.  also, at two weeks postpartum i'm cleared for any type of activity and feel a hundred times better than i did when i left the hospital.  

2.  during labor they pumped me so full of fluids i left probably weighing more than i did when i came in.  because of the epidural and the baby's heart rate they ran fluids into me really fast trying to keep my blood pressure up (which was never a problem and keep her fluid levels up).  by the time she was delivered they had given me 7 bags of fluids.  during the delivery my feet were so swollen from all of the fluids i couldn't even bend them.  in fact they were more painful that night and the next morning than recovering from the actual delivery.   

3.  i declined the flu shot this year, just like i do every year.  there are many reasons for this, but in addition to the usual reasons there was an article that came out that showed that this year's vaccine had much higher levels of mercury than other years.  i figure that's a good thing to avoid all of the time but especially when i'm pregnant.  everyone at the hospital was asking me about the vaccine.  my doctor, avery's doctor, each nurse that i had (7 shifts), and each nurse that avery had.  i wanted to make a sign for our door:  "yes, i declined the flu shot.  yes i know what it does.  no i don't want to get one now."

despite everything we ended up with all we really cared about: a healthy baby.  yes, i think i'll probably look for another doctor.  i definitely don't think that the way i was treated regarding when to have the baby was professional but more than that, i was being blamed for a decision that was essentially recommended to me by a partner doctor.  i also think i'll look for another hospital.  the one we delivered at was fine, and i really liked the majority of the staff, but it did seem like they couldn't get their shit together when it actually mattered and ideally i'd like to deliver at a larger facility that sees some of these things more often.  i realize it's not that common to have the cord wrapped around her neck three times, but the fact that we were being 'talked about' makes me think they don't see these things very often which also means they're probably not as good at dealing with them.  but the bottom line is that we're both healthy and happy and right now, that's really all that matters. 

happy friday.

as of today i'm on maternity leave.  except i have no baby.  my boss has told me that i'm welcome to come into work next week, and while i'm sure most people think i'm crazy for considering it, i just might work a few more days.work has been a very welcome distraction these past few weeks when it seems that all i can think about and all people want to talk about is when this baby is going to come.  the thing is, i don't know when that's going to be and i've been very happy to have some place to go that keeps me busy all day long and doesn't give me time to think about the fact that we still have no baby.  the thing is, this baby is still less than two weeks overdue.  i think it just seems so much longer because ever since i hit 37 weeks people have been saying "any day now".  and when you're thinking it's going to be any day, a month can go by pretty slowly.  the good news is that the baby's fine, i'm fine, and if it were up to me i'd be happy to let it take it's time.  however i don't think my doctor is going to let it take too much more time.  

as a result of this baby being late, we've had a few people cancel or postpone trips to come and visit.

while on one hand it's a relief not to have to entertain visitors who were expecting a baby, it also makes me sad that we're not going to see some people.  i was really looking forward to spending time with family.  i'm definitely going to miss our usual christmas visit with my family.  while i knew it would be different this year with a new baby, i was still looking forward to seeing everyone.  now, we're going to have a really new baby and will definitely be missing our usual celebrations.

i've had several people tell me not to let the baby be born too close to christmas, as if i have any control over when this baby is going to come.  i also like the thought that i'm somehow ruining this baby's future birthdays by "letting" it be born so late.  yes i'm sure it sort of sucks to have a combo birthday/christmas celebration, but maybe it will just make this time of year that much more exciting.  charlie's birthday is the 17th and he seems to have survived just fine.  

meanwhile, these things are making me pretty happy right now.

a sleeping cat.

a christmas tree.


donuts.  i've been wanting a donut for 9 months and finally caved. 

things i couldn't have survived pregnancy without

since i'm still pregnant i figured i'd make good use of my time and make a list of the things that were super helpful to me during the last few months.

... apples
... yogurt.  specifically this yogurt.  yes, i eat kid yogurt.
...  mamma bee belly butter.
...  naps.
...  old navy tank tops and shirts.  super cheap and super comfy.
...  peppermint tea.
...  walks with the dogs.
...  an awesome yoga tape.  this one is free on netflix streaming and helped a lot with sciatica.
...  ice cream.
...  peanut butter.  it is sad how much of this i eat.
...  honey.  my breakfast every day is yogurt and a peanut butter and honey sandwich.
...  decaf coffee.  just as good as the real deal.
...  water.
...  american eagle jeans.  i'm still wearing these at 41 weeks. and i'm sure i'll be wearing them afterwards, too.
...  also these jeans and these, although i didn't wear either of them until the last month.
...  my rainbows in the summer.
...  toms in the fall.
...  minnetonkas in the winter.
...  hot chocolate.
...  this website and this one for weekly updates.  totally made my every wednesday.
... charlie.  he's assembled furniture, hung curtains and pictures, taken late night walks with me, made numerous trips to babies 'r us (more than i have), washed clothes and baby stuff, moved lots of furniture, done the majority of the cleaning, and he's also pretty excited to meet this baby.


and now i'm so over being pregnant.  although i'm thinking this baby is going to end up being more of a christmas baby than a thanksgiving baby.  or maybe it's really just holding out for charlie's birthday.  at this point i'd take a double birthday in this house because it would mean it coming sooner rather than later.  either way we're looking at a baby before christmas.  i'm trying to stay positive.  and the later this baby comes the longer my leave will be in the spring.  i'm just thankful that i have a job that's been flexible with my final days, otherwise i would have wasted a whole lot of leave waiting around.  it's been nice to have somewhere to go, something to do, and something to take my mind off of the fact that this baby hasn't come yet.            

still no baby.

yes, that's right.  4 days past baby a's due date and s/he's still not here.

i realize 4 days is nothing in the big scheme of things but these past 4 days have seemed like a month.  

i was really hoping to be at home with a baby on maternity leave at this point but i'm sure come february i'll be glad for the few extra days.  

we've been ready for this baby for the past month, which has made the time go even slower.

all the clothes are washed, our bags are packed, the carseat's installed, christmas presents have been bought and wrapped, and the house is clean (for now).  

charlie has completely lost all patience, but obviously he's going to have to wait a bit longer.  

i don't feel like this kid is coming any time soon.  

in the meantime we've been distracting ourselves with nighttime walks.

i love wandering around the neighborhood now that everyone has their christmas lights up.

  

i've been baking lot of christmas cookies.

charlie ate 10 the first night.

he's also officially obsessed with words with friends.

i find this ironic for as many times as he's refused to play scrabble with me.

napping and cleaning have also proved to be excellent distractions.  

the dogs are pros at the napping.

i have a feeling henry's going to spend a lot of time awake once we bring this baby home so hopefully he'll be well rested.  i'm also hoping he calms down pretty quickly.  

it's the most wonderful time ...

it's officially christmas time.  

which in our house starts the day after thanksgiving and usually lasts until we get enough motivation to take down our decorations sometime after new years.  i think last year we had our christmas tree up until the 10th or so.  why is it that taking decorations down is never as fun as putting them up?  

anyway, in our usual tradition we decorated on friday while listening to christmas music.  

charlie has officially started listening (he always waits until after thanksgiving unlike me) and has even banned my iPod from our dock because 'his christmas list is much better than mine'.  

our tree is set up in the corner as always and it's been a challenge to keep the cats out of it.  they like to climb halfway up and then sleep in the branches, destroying ornaments as they climb.  ollie's eyeing the tree in this picture.  he especially likes to break as many of the glass balls as he can.

the santa hat made an appearance before it became our tree topper.  neither dog is that fond of it.  henry tries to destroy it like it's one of his toys.  

the tumbling santas were a gift from my mom and are my favorite christmas decoration of all. 

along with climbing and breaking ornaments the tree is ollie's favorite place to sleep.
he's officially given up the blanket on the couch now that he has his tree to sleep under.
and it doesn't matter if we put presents underneath, he'll just knock them out of the way.

in other news we've officially checked everything off of our 'to do before baby' list.  the clothes are washed, we have a doctor (finally), the room's all set up, our bags are packed, we're pre-registered at the hospital, the carseat's installed, we even have a stocking for him/her.  all we need now is a baby.  any day now.  whenever you're ready.  sometime in the next 2 weeks would be nice ...

cloth diapers: the beginning

this might be really boring for anyone except abby but i told her i'd keep her posted on this stuff and here's what we've got before the baby comes.  

we're planning on cloth diapering.  i have no idea exactly how this is going to work out for us yet.  obviously i'd love to do this exclusively but between daycare and traveling i'm sure we'll be mixing some disposables in.  our daycare will use cloth diapers, which is great, i'm just not sure if i'll be able to keep up with all of the laundry while working full time.  the plan right now is to try it and go from there.  although we'll definitely be cloth diapering when at home.  

honestly, i already knew that this was something i wanted to do before we really even talked about it but the current options for cloth diapering were more than a little overwhelming.  the amount of time i spent researching options is actually a little disgusting.  i think of all the meals i could have cooked during this time.  

in the end i decided to try prefolds and covers as opposed to all in ones.  this was a combination of factors but i think it all is a matter of personal preference.  i ordered the small size organic, indian cotton prefolds from green mountain diapers (i figured for $0.33 i can support organic farming).  sizing was another decision, but i decided to skip the newborn size prefolds mostly to save money.  i figured the smalls would last us longer, although watch us have a super small baby.  i'm hoping i don't regret this.  

i ordered 2 dozen prefolds to start.  here they are before 'prepping'.

and here they are after.  fat, fluffy, and much smaller.

as far as covers go we're starting with 6 of the thirsties duos.  

i'm sure that i'll end up ordering both more prefolds and covers but i wanted to start with smaller amounts so we can make sure each of these work for us before ordering a whole bunch.  i picked the thirsties duo because they're adjustable which means we'll only need 2 sizes throughout the whole diapering journey.  

i also liked that with these covers you don't have to use diaper pins or snappis, you can just fold the prefold into the cover and then put the whole thing on like an all in one or a disposable.  i'm hoping that this method works well with leaks, otherwise we'll use diaper pins and and then put the cover on top.  

here are the covers we're starting with.

we'll see how these all work out.  i'm actually pretty excited about using cloth diapers.  it helps that i like doing laundry and don't really have to fold anything.  charlie's pretty skeptical that this is going to save us money in the long run although we've spent a little over $100 at this point and theoretically these supplies could last us about 6 months.  i'm sure we'll end up ordering more and obviously there's the cost of laundry, which is a little tricker to calculate, but i'm being optimistic.  

hats

one of the things i wanted for the baby was a knitted hat. 

obviously having a baby in december means lots of cold and snow and handmade hats are about 100% cuter than anything i could buy in a store.  

what i don't remember is that my dad had promised that he would make a hat for the baby.  

so when i came home for our baby shower last month i found out that both of my parents had crocheted hats for the baby.  

they were most definitely my favorite gifts that we received.  

my mom made a blue one

and my dad made this one. 

yes that is christopher the bear modeling the hats.  i tried to get henry to help out but he wouldn't sit still long enough and his head was too big.  

hi mom.  thanks for the hat and dad's too.  

i'm definitely in a better mood then i was when i wrote this post.

generally i don't get that offended by some of the ridiculous things that people say, but honestly by the 3rd comment that day i couldn't take it any more.  

it was a good thing that the day was almost over because i don't think i could have handled much more without being insanely rude back.  

anyway, after a productive and relaxing weekend i'm feeling much better.

charlie and i bought our stroller, something that i've been putting off because it's so darn expensive.  

we ended up getting the Bob Revolution SE at REI  i feel like we pretty much meet the definition of yuppies just by toting our kid around in that stroller.  we went to boulder that afternoon to walk around and the Bob count was up to 7, just on Pearl Street Mall alone.  anyway, we picked it because it's a jogging stroller and everyday stroller in one and we can use it from the day we come home.  i'm sure charlie will be interested to test it out in the snow.  also, by buying it at REI we'll use the dividends from the stroller to get a backpack in the spring.  (all charlie's idea).  

i was a little worried that henry would be scared of the stroller since he's scared of bikes and rollerblades (no idea why).  i figured maybe it was all moving things with wheels, but he couldn't care less, which is good because i plan to do lots of walking with the dogs.

this was henry swimming at union reservoir.
i love that his ears are blowing in the wind.

things not to say to a pregnant woman

peter rabbit mobile circa 1983.

...  "how much weight have you gained?"  

um, totally in appropriate.  it's even more inappropriate to say, "wow, that much?!" if i am dumb enough to tell you.  

...  "you can't be drinking coffee when you're having a baby/you're going to kill your baby by drinking coffee."

first of all it's decaf, second of all pregnant women are allowed to drink coffee, and third of all it's none of your damn business.  

...  "when my wife had her baby i had to leave the room because i got tired".  

wow, you sound like a stand up guy.  you got tired sitting around and left your wife who was actually birthing a child.  

...  "can you come and get me when the baby moves so i can feel it?". 

absolutely not.  

...  "hey there, preggers".  

fuck off.  

...  "wow, you're getting big". 

yes i am.  there is a human growing inside of me.  

....  "you can't eat cheese".  

are you a medical professional? no?  then i'm not interested in hearing your opinion.  

...   "i heard on the news last night that the breastmilk bank is running low.  you should donate some."

actually, i'm not lactating.  thanks for asking.  

...  "are you going to breastfeed?  because you should, it's better for the baby".  

again, thanks Dr. Sears.  when i decide to involve you in how i raise my child i'll let you know.

* side note:  these were all things that were said to me by either complete strangers or people i am not at all close with.  obviously if they were made by friends/family members they would not necessarily be inappropriate. 

things.

so aside from the usual:  work has been crazy, i've been napping, it's crazy hot outside right now, i'm getting fatter every day, there hasn't been a lot else going on.  

i went home 2 weeks ago for our baby shower and it was so nice to see family and friends.  my mom and my sister put a ton of effort into making food and banners and wrapping presents, which was really nice but mostly it was just nice to hang out.  the weekend flew by way too fast, and i was more than a little sad to leave on sunday.

we were very lucky and received tons of gifts from people, which i've been trying to find places for in our house. the baby's room is where we've been storing everything so far because it just doesn't make sense to clutter our whole house with things 15 weeks before the baby's due.  we've also been trying to slowly get all of the other things that we'll need before the baby comes.  the biggest items that we still need are a stroller, a rocking chair, and a breast pump, both of which are expensive.  we also still need lots of clothes, but i'm waiting for stores to shift to fall/winter clothes before we get those.  

last weekend we hung the curtains in the room, and i'm not completely crazy about them yet, but they keep growing on me.  we also hung some pictures, we're doing a gallery wall above the dresser/changing table, although i still have to fill the frames.  

here are the curtains. i was using a 50 mm lens so i could only zoom out so far.  i'll have to take a bigger shot of the whole room once we clear some things out of it.  

we were supposed to go camping this weekend but changed plans when we found out that we couldn't leave until saturday for a first-come first-serve campsite that's 3 hours away from everything.  originally, we thought we would stay the night in either glenwood springs or steamboat springs if we couldn't get a campsite but the lake we were planning on camping at is over 3 hours away from either town.  i'm hoping to plan a weekend away in september just because it'd be nice to get away with charlie one more time before the baby comes.  

ever since i saw the movie julie and julia i've been wanting to make the bruschetta that they ate in the movie.  i just used tomatoes we had around the house, but we did fry the bread like she did in the movie and it was delicious.  it's definitely not a whole meal but it makes a great appetizer even though it's pretty messy.  

i've been walking the dogs later at night, as in right before it gets dark, because it's been so hot.  if i tried to take them walking when i got off of work i'd only make it a block or too.  honestly, as much as i'm wishing the weather would cool off just a bit, i'm really going to miss flip flops, late night walks, green grass, eating outside, and long days.  henry has been generally unimpressed with all of the 'getting ready for the baby' stuff that's been going on.  he just wants massive amounts of attention, long walks, and a few rabbits to chase.  

lately...

i cannot believe that it's august.  i love august, because it's hot and sticky.  but it makes me sad that it's now completely dark by 8:30 pm.  although considering the fact that i've been going to bed earlier and earlier each night i should appreciate this.  i know august is going to be just as busy as july.  between plans we already have, being gone for a weekend, and trying to get our house back in order things it's going to go by fast.

last weekend pretty much consisted of furniture moving, shopping, assembling, and lots of cleaning.  we did actually make it to ikea.  i'm now convinced that one store employs half the state of colorado.  it was totally packed, which charlie wasn't happy about.  luckily, i had about 4 items that we were there for so we were able to move in and out of the crowds pretty easily.


we have curtains for the baby's room.  these weren't my first choice but they're definitely growing on me and they go pretty well with the rest of the stuff in the room.

in other news, the baby is doing well. we had our 20 week appointment, complete with ultrasound where we did not find out if the kid is a boy or girl, dude or dudette.  this wasn't even a little difficult for me, but i know it was hard for charlie.  and i had a lot of people telling me that i'd change my mind and find out.  sorry, suckers.  didn't happen.  charlie thinks it's a girl.  i think it's a boy.  we have no names for either gender.  although since abby's introduced me to nameberry i've been completely addicted.

baby related things.

via

i haven't talked about the soon-to-be kid much lately.  not that there's a ton of news but i figure maybe writing this stuff down will make me feel a whole lot better about all we have left to do.  

the baby just turned 19 weeks. which is sort of exciting in my book because i consider 20 a milestone. 

it's been moving like crazy lately, which is awesome and distracting all at once.  

last night i actually saw it move a bunch, the kid must of been doing flips or something.  

charlie has yet to observe any of this because his attention span is all of 5 seconds.  i'm all "oh, the baby just moved" and he's all "ooh, i want to see" and then a few seconds later "i'm bored". 

anyway, it's not only cool to feel but a nice reassurance that everything is fine.  considering that the first few months i had to wait until doctors appointments to hear a heartbeat it's nice to have a daily reminder that it's moving and growing.  

my mom is coming out this weekend.  (yay!) and she's not only bringing lots of baby books with her but she's also going to help us register and figure a few things out.  considering the fact that we haven't done much so far i'm glad we'll be making some progress this weekend and i'm also happy to have her help and advice on some things.  pretty much the only thing i've decided is that i don't want our house to explode in baby gear.  i actually feel like they try to trick first time parents into thinking you need everything under the sun.  we'll definitely be taking a minimalist approach.  i think people think i'm crazy because they one question i've been asking parents is "tell me everything you got that you never used/needed".

we did put down a deposit for a daycare a few weeks ago.  this makes me feel both relieved and terrified at the same time.  i haven't met this baby yet and already i can tell you that i don't want to leave it for 50 hours a week.  however, we toured a few places and the one we decided on is not only the most convenient (it's literally a block from our house), but i liked the people the best.  i'm hoping i'll feel better about our decision as time goes on. 

in less exciting news, i bought my first pair of maternity jeans today.  i had to order online them because i'm short and no one is selling jeans in the summer.  it was depressing how expensive they were. 

since we're on the topic ...

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let's talk about some of my favorite things people have said to me since finding out we're going to have a baby.

one of the comments that i've gotten a lot is 'was this planned'. and i always want to say back, 'is it any of your business?'. i know this is a common question but seriously. we're married, we're not financially dependent on anyone, why does it matter if it was planned or not?

my other favorite comment would be 'what are you going to do about the animals'. yes, i know we have a lot of animals. but they're all well trained (okay, the dogs are well trained). the dogs have been around kids and love them and despite what everyone thinks, cats don't kill babies. someone actually told me that the cats would attack the baby. seriously?

and of course there are the people when they find out we're keeping the gender a surprise who say either, 'oh, you'll change your mind' or 'how will you know what to buy it'. first of all, i'm not going to change my mind and second of all i'm pretty sure that both boys and girls need the same things. one person even told me that they hated all gender-neutral clothing. okay, thanks. do you only dress your kids in sports jerseys or tutus? i told one person that we're just going to dress it in boy clothes for the first year. i don't think they realized i was kidding.

charlie's least favorite comment is 'you're pregnant?' which we got while looking at childcare. no lady, i'm not pregnant. i just thought it might be fun to tour some daycares after work. is that cool? and the one i get from everyone 'you're so small' or 'if i didn't know you were pregnant i'd just think you had a little bit of a gut'. awesome. charlie's always saying, 'how big to people expect you to be? you're not 7 months pregnant'.

i can only imagine the comments over the next few months. and i have to say that overall people have been really nice and supportive. it's actually amazed me how happy people are for us. as much as i enjoyed the first few weeks to ourselves it's been really nice sharing the news with everyone.

baby.

we're having a baby!

the kid is due december 7th and for the past few months i've been going from being really excited to completely terrified about what's to come.

we found out in early april and waited until 12 weeks to tell family, and friends a bit after that.

i think it drove charlie nuts to keep a secret for that long and although it was a relief to not have to fake drink any more, i'm so glad we waited that long to tell people.

the thing about babies is that, although everyone is excited for you, everyone also has an opinion about how you should be taking care of yourself, raising the baby, or what lifestyle choices you should be making.

personally i needed some time to adjust to the idea of having a baby and figure out some things for myself before being bombarded with questions.

we're not finding out the gender. something i always knew i wouldn't want to find out. this means that it'll be known as 'the baby' or 'the kid' for another 6 months.

charlie's hoping it's 10 days late so that they can share a birthday.

and we're both pretty excited to have another member of our family here at christmas.