grace.

i decided back in december that i wasn't making any resolutions this year.  if i've learned anything it's that introducing a new baby to our family is resolution enough for both me and our family.  and in light of that i wanted to be respectful of the fact that 2016 would just be a big transition year for our family and that it was okay just to focus on finding our new normal, meeting everyones needs, and making sure we felt good about how we spent our days.  there will be a time for trying new recipes, doing big things, taking vacations, and finding more time for myself but i know that this year is not that.  survival with a big helping of grace is my goal for this year and i hope that i find a way to remember that every day.  i love staying at home with my kids, i love being a mother, and i love our family but i could definitely find some more grace for everyone in our family as we go throughout our days, and especially when this next baby joins us.  adding ellie to our family was not a cakewalk.  it was really, really hard.  she was a hard baby and basically took every ounce of my attention which meant that at the end of the day i felt guilty for not spending enough time with avery, for our messy house, for feeding us grilled cheese for dinner (again), for counting the minutes to bedtime, and for having zero energy and time left for me and charlie at the end of the day.  

i'm mentally preparing for the same situation this time around, while hoping for a slightly easier going baby, too.  but i'm hoping that if it is just as hard (or harder) this time, that i remember that it's okay.  that these times will pass and that what matters is not what we accomplished at the end of the day but that we all treated each other well and that everyone goes to bed feeling loved.  

so, i'm making 2016 about "grace" and hoping to grant everyone a big slice of it. 

... grace for the messes that avery leaves all over the house.  she has a habit of playing with all the things, all the time, in all the rooms.  but she's playing, she's learning, she's occupying herself, and she's learning to clean up after herself. 

...  grace for the two year old that needs to be held at the most inconvenient times, and gets frustrated at me and at her sister, and at herself.  she's two.  she's learning.  she needs a hug, and a tissue, and for me to sit for a minute and read her a book.  

...  grace for the two year old, again, when she cannot sleep.  she's not a good sleeper.  she's never been a good sleeper.  one day she will sleep.  i must remember that this is hard for her, too.  

...  grace for myself.  i need some time to myself.  not much, but a walk in the mornings, a hot shower, and a cup of tea (or soon beer!) at night make me much more able to take care of everyone else. 

...  grace for the dog because he's a puppy for goodness sake and he's going to chew things and he needs exercise and he's learning and trying, too.     

...  grace for the times when it seems like avery and ellie cannot play well together for even 30 seconds.  they're both learning and figuring out how to play with each other, what is acceptable and what isn't, and how to stand up for themselves.  it's a process and sometimes it's a messy one.  

...  grace for my husband.  he works hard.  he needs time for himself, too.  and he is a great dad.  i am so glad he's the one holding my hand at the end of the day.  and we both could use some time together, without the kids, whether it's brunch or a fire after the kids have gone to bed or falling asleep while watching modern family.  

...  grace during those morning hours when everyone is crying and upset because they're hungry and whiny and not happy with whatever breakfast is being served.  it will all get better once they eat and i get some coffee.  

...  grace for the messes that will inevitably pile up:  the dishes in the sink, the bathrooms that need cleaning, and the laundry piles that seem impossible to fold at times.  they do drive me crazy but they also mean that i was spending my time taking care of the people that matter most.  the messes are worth it.  and they will all get cleaned up eventually.  

...  grace for the newborn baby that is coming soon and will probably cry for no reason, want to be fed 12-14 times a day, have a hard time sleeping, be woken up by our loud house, need a million diaper changes, and steal countless hours of sleep from us.  because it's a newborn, you know.  and really, we are the luckiest to be adding a new person to our family who we get to learn about and teach things and watch grow up.  and we know just how fast that time flies, even when there is a lot of crying involved.  

so here's to 2016. i'm hoping it's filled with lots of hugs, "i love yous", and spontaneous kisses.  i hope that my kids know how much i love them and how much they love each other at the end of each day.  i hope that we read lots of books, play outside a lot, grow a tiny garden, make messes and learn more about each other.  and i hope we remember every day just how lucky we are.     

twenty-thirteen.

happy new year!  

i'm so very excited for a new year.  not that 2012 wasn't great, but december was, and always is, a crazy month and i'm happy for the calm that january brings.  

i didn't make any goals for 2012.  with a brand new baby my only goal was really to live in the present and enjoy those sweet baby moments before she grew up and i missed it all.  i'd like to think i did a pretty good job of that.  not a perfect job, but pretty good.  i soaked up a lot of baby-ness, rocked that baby through far too many naps just because i could, ignored the dust to stack piles of blocks for her to knock down, and ate many a sandwich for dinner because i chose a trip to the swing set over cooking something.  not always the best decisions, but ones i wouldn't take back. 2012 was good to us and i look at her now and wonder how it's possible for someone to grow so much in one short year.  

there's a lot of things that i want to get done in 2013 but i wanted this year to focus on one thing:  taking care of myself & my family.  i want to eat healthy, exercise, let go of the things that don't matter, and focus on our family.  i would say that in general we're pretty good about all of this, but we could be much better.  

eat better.

+ create a list of easy, healthy go-to meals.  i have this started but it's pretty short, which means we all get sick of spinach pie.  

+  eat less grains, especially processed ones.  this means finding alternatives to sandwiches and only cooking meals with pasta once or twice a month.

+ drink more water.

+  find better snack options for avery.  annie's cheddar bunnies should be a once in a while treat.

+  eat salad every day.  i need more fruits and vegetables. we all do.  

exercise. 

+ figure out something to do in the winter.  when it's nice i walk all the time, which works really well for me, avery, and the dogs.  but it's been so cold lately that i really can't take avery out for an hour in the stroller.  if this means joining a gym for a bit then i should do it.  

+  when it's nice.  walk.  

de-clutter my life. 

+  schedule all yearly doctor appointments in january.  did this on the 2nd and they're all scheduled for this month.  now i only have to dread them for 3 weeks.   

+  de-clutter.  i need to get rid of the remainder of the baby stuff.  there's no reason for a pack-n-play in our room or a jumparoo in the office. and i also have so many things i need to craigslist, sell, or donate:  old furniture, books i will never read again, clothes, sheets for beds we no longer own, christmas decorations that were gifted and that i will never use.

show love.

+  charlie.  do something that charlie loves (and i hate) once a month.  this can be skiing or eating chipotle.  i should also stop complaining about stupid, little things.  i share my life with a great guy & i should show him that i appreciate him more.
+  avery.  create fun activities at home & be present when we're together and i'm not working.
+  east coast friends and family.  i miss all of these people & think about them a lot.  send snail mail, make more phone calls, write fatty emails.       

have fun.

+  take avery somewhere fun and new at least once a week.  i'm thinking free ideas like barnes and noble reading groups the wow museum but i'd also like to get her to the pool, and the zoo, and the butterfly pavilion a few times.  i'm off on mondays so i'm trying to use that day to do some fun things we don't get to do during the rest of the week.
+  book a family vacation in january.  between 15 visits from friends and family, a trip back to maryland, and sick days in 2012 it was easy to use up more than all of my time off, but it's important for us to plan some time for our family, too.  time for just our family is so, so important for all of us.   

+  do a house-project a month.  this isn't huge but i want to paint our night stands (bright blue was never a good choice), turn the office into a office/playroom, and make a few little things here and there.  doing these things is fun and it always makes me happy to see the little changes around our house.
+  do an actual family activity once a month.  i think january is the butterfly pavilion.

i have a confession: i don't like flying.

i'm not scared, i just find it to be a huge pain.

it takes so much time to park, wait for a shuttle, wait in the security line, wait to board, and then wait for everyone else to board. and i'm sorry but 95% of the products that use every day do not come in a travel size, which means i either do without or check my bag. charlie yells at me when i check my bag and it weighs more than 50 lbs. because of all the shampoo, lotion, etc.. also, i'm a homebody. i love being at home, hanging out on the balcony, eating the food i like, and having the dogs around.

currently my job requires that a travel a small amount. honestly, i can't complain at all about the amount of travel because it's really pretty reasonable and flexible.

this week i was in omaha for work. and not really looking forward to it. however, it was seriously the best work trip i've ever had. see, people in the midwest are really, really nice. i mean, people in colorado are nice but not like out here. every person i walk past says 'hi'. people go out of their way to hold doors open, make conversations, and just go out of their way to he helpful.

the east coaster in me doesn't understand it. where i grow up people won't move over to share a sidewalk with you let alone ask 'how your day's going?'. and if you're driving in dc, watch out. dc has probably the worst drivers in the country. my dad has gotten rear ended five times in the past year. five times! and each time he was at a dead stop. charlie found some survey that quizzed drivers around the country on basic driving rules. dc was dead last. people actually answered that when you see a yellow light you should speed up.

anyway, this trip has made me realize that even though i don't like traveling so much i probably shouldn't dread it as much as i do. i'm ready to come home, eat whatever charlie's grilling tonight, and take the dogs for a walk but a night or two away from home isn't so bad.

2011.

it's that time of year again ...

for [family]

... make a trip in june to visit our new nephew & watch my sister graduate.

... visit telluride again for our anniversary.

... ski 3 times with charlie.

... get better about returning phone calls/emails. as in return them within a week.

... send a birthday card to everyone this year. on time.

for [serious]

... graduate. 3 more classes, including chemistry. ugh!

... submit my bfr paper to a journal.

... non-bloggable goal #1.

... non-bloggable goal #2.

... save some moolah.

for [fun]

... climb another 14er. my vote is for mt. elbert & charlie's is for mt. bierstadt. we'll see.

... rent/stalk craigslist for snowshoes and find some local trails.

... convince charlie to try skijoring with me.

... walk the dogs 4 times a week.

for [the home]

... find some new easy meals to make on a regular basis.

... make a monthly menu & shop (okay, have charlie shop) once a week.

... redo our table. either sand and stain or sand and paint.

... organize the storage closet in the garage & get rid of things we don't need. like my 7 boxes of teaching stuff.

all about me, honestly

1. i'm so not a morning person. in fact i'm ridiculously grumpy in the morning.

2. i do not understand the giant "savory savory mushrooms" can on federal. it's in the middle of a neighborhood. why?

3. i am 26 and cannot figure out what i want to "be". ugh. in all honesty, i just want to find something that i can stand doing.

4. i used to talk about how people shouldn't be defined by their careers. and then i gave mine up, and i sort of got why it's so important to have one.

5. kids scare me. in the sense that they're expensive and permanent, and at some point they are going to grow up and make bad decisions.

6. i hate the harry potter movies.

7. when i have a bad day, sometimes i come home and yell at charlie for something so stupid, like not filling the dog's water. that usually makes my day even worse.

8. i'm a huge introvert and could go for days without talking to another person.

9. i like henry just a little bit better than dunkin. i tell myself it's because even though both of the dogs are ours. dunkin was charlie's before we were dating and i bought henry when we moved in together. i'd feel guilty about this but i know that charlie loves dunkin just a little but more than henry. it all evens out.

10. i hate big houses. i never want to live in one. i'm also not a fan of houses with formal dining rooms and living rooms. this goes along with never wanting to host a huge thanksgiving dinner.

11. i'm not a good driver. i don't pay attention to stop signs or what color the light is.

12. my car is really, really dirty. i hate cleaning it.

13. i don't have a lot of patience.

14. sometimes i'll eat a bag of chips for dinner. like i'm in college. even though i know it's bad for me.

15. i hate that charlie doesn't want me to do his laundry. so i do it anyway.

16. i love bubble baths. charlie says i'm wasting water. i don't care.

17. i bought a ski pass this season and i sort of wish i didn't. waking up at 5 am on a saturday to drive to the mountains is so not what i want to do on my weekends.

18. i drink a lot of tea.

also ... i still want to read wedding magazines. but don't worry, i haven't bought any. :)

this was exactly what i needed

i have a confession to make, i've been an emotional mess lately.

on sunday night i had a total meltdown about everything. my job, school, our dirty house, everything.

luckily, i married someone who has the ability to calm me down when i'm completely freaking out.

hawaii was wonderful. seriously. but i also had a lot of free, alone time, and used that to freak out about everything that i needed to get done but couldn't because i was in the middle of the pacific ocean. i couldn't get my book for school before leaving (even though i went to the bookstore twice and charlie went once) and so i couldn't do any of the work for my class. totally frustrating. i also was thinking about work. i did get some papers graded on the beach, which helped a lot, but still ...

monday was rough. i haven't been sleeping and after traveling all night and then trying to get ready for the week ahead i was so, so tired. the thing is, i'm usually not this much of a head case. i've never had problems sleeping, ever. i've slept through a thunderstorm, in a tent, with my sleeping bag in 3 inches of water.

last night charlie and i climbed into bed early, with tea, and books, and henry snuggled between us. it was perfect. must do that more often. have i mentioned i love our quilt?

tuesday was better than monday and wednesday's looking even better. i've calmed down a bit, gotten a ton of work done and charlie's picking my book up for my at the bookstore today. (5th trip. a little ridiculous, no?) he's awesome. really, really awesome. i should bake him a cake or something. or cook him a steak. dudes, like meat.

dear hawaii,

i am coming to see you tomorrow!!!! please don't rain on us when we're hiking your volcanoes.

dear chemisty,

i don't like you or your stinkin' professor. therefore, i'm dropping you.

dear students,

stop skipping class. or i will fail you. for serious.

dear husband,

thank you for being amazing these past few weeks. you've definitely made up for all of the things i haven't done: taking care of the dogs, taking out the trash, feeding the neighbor's cat.

ps. that frosty you got me last night was awesome. so was that backrub.

dear dogs,

i'm sorry i've been so lame lately. i promise to make it up to you.

dear sleep,

why do you hate me? come back.

dear coffee,

you are the one bright spot to my morning.

tgif.

i have never needed a weekend so badly before. ever.

i'd love to write about how awful this week really was, but i'm still debating on whether that's pc or not.

i'm jealous of people who work in cubicles. and don't have people screaming in their face, calling them inaproppriate names, or have to break up fights between girls. i could go on, but i won't. for now.

thank goodness this is a three day weekend. i'll be:

... shopping. yesterday my husband told me i dress like a 50 year old woman and should be on the show what not to wear. thanks babe.

... skiing.

... cleaning, reading, packing.

... getting books for school. ugh.

... taking the dogs for a walk. maybe a hike.

i cannot wait until 3.40 today.

ugh.

i forgot how to work.

tomorrow is my first day. i'm a little nervous & i don't really know what to expect or where to go or who to ask for. i tried to set the coffee up for tomorrow morning and accidentally brewed it instead so i had to dump it out and make it all over again.

i still haven't figured out my school schedule for this semester. i've emailed a few professors and haven't heard anything back yet. i'm also worried about what i'm going to do with the dogs when i'm gone for 12 hours a day and charlie's out of town.

i'm also worried about finding time to study and sleep. i know this job is going to require more than 40 hours a week and when you add two classes to that it doesn't leave time for much else. like grocery shopping, or walking the dogs, or doing the laundry, or cleaning the house. i have a feeling charlie is going to be doing a lot of skiing on the weekends without me.

i'm hoping that i can remember physics. and math. and how to write a lesson plan.

2010.

hopefully a lot more of this in 2010.

resolutions.goals.aspirations.whatever you want to call them.

all my life i've resisted them but the past two years i've made some and i've liked it.

i definitely didn't accomplish all of 2009's resolutions but i had fun trying.

here are some [fun] things i'd like to do in 2010.

1. climb mount elbert.

2. comfortably ski some black diamonds by the end of the season.

3. enjoy a weekend away for our anniversary.

4. visit family. hopefully before the holidays.

5. cook julia child's beef bourguignon.

6. run the bolder boulder.

7. camp in wyoming.

8. use our canoe. with the dogs.

9. watch my sister dance in her last nutcracker. even though i hate the nutcracker.

10. learn how to use our new camera.

11. learn how to use PSE.

12. finish my 2009 scrapbook. by the end of february.

here are some [serious] things i'd like to do in 2010.

1. be a better wife. cook more, appreciate my husband more, complain less.

2. save more money.

3. find a long-term job.

4. take AT LEAST 5 classes.

5. set a budget.

8. read silent spring.

and here are some things i will NOT do in 2010.

1. adopt more animals.

2. move.

3. wear heels when i can wear flats.

4. go to the gym instead of walking the dogs.

5. buy holiday decorations.

6. cook like julia, or martha, or my mother.

... and, i want to keep doing my it's the little things posts once a week. they've helped me put things into perspective and not ignore the small things that make life so great.

remember those moving announcements?

yeah, the ones that i sent out in august. well apparently, i put the wrong zip code on them.

dear friends and family, don't send me anything in the mail.

crap.

This week I ...

... decorated for Christmas.

... finished my Xmas presents for my parents (and one for us via Blurb). VERY excited to see the end result and hope I didn't make any spelling errors.

... spent all Thanksgiving morning cooking with C. We made riceballs, deviled eggs, apple pie, and spinach salad.

... ate too much artichoke and jalapeno dip.

... made a wreath. sort of.

... stalked everyone else's holiday decorations in our neighborhood.

... went skiing.

... did not venture out of the house on black friday.

... celebrated Thanksgiving with some friends and played lots of catchphrase. (Note to self: find game partner that is not competitive.)

... assembled a bookshelf and a bench.

... hung curtains. crookedly.

... discovered that our drill really doesn't work no matter how long you charge the battery.

... hung pictures on the wall.

... played ball at night with the dogs (thanks to all the trees with lights).

... watched Twilight. Hated it.

... made about 4 trips to Target. and 3 to safeway.

... cleaned the apartment. got it dirty again.

Now for the next two weeks, which will involve nothing but studying. If only I can get started ...

I believe ...

... that what really matters is not where you are but who you're with.

... in starting every day with a hot cup of coffee. ... in saying "I love you" every chance you get.
... in doing everything outside.
... that everyone should have a dog at some point in their life. Hello, unconditional love.
... that it really is the little things that make life so amazing.
... in spending time alone.
... that relationships are hard and you have to work hard to keep them special.
... in dessert.
... that everyone has more than one soul-mate and that sometimes that soul-mate is a friend.
... that kisses from my dogs and hugs from my dude can make anything better.
... that sometimes you have to "leap before you look".
... that dinners in are much better than dinners out.
... in taking pictures, all the time, of everything.
... in reading fiction.
... in happy hours with my husband. Sometimes 5 o'clock is just too long to wait.
... that sunsets over the Rocky Mountains are the best.
... in beach days that start with a cup of coffee and end with a bonfire.
... in driving with the windows down.
... in tan lines.
... that you're never too old to play in the snow, or read a picture book, or eat cookie batter.
... in weekday hikes.
... that sometimes it's good to be scared shitless.
... in drinking champagne for no reason.
... that you have to believe in yourself.
... in living in the moment.
... that my dogs have taught be more about how to live life than most people I know.
... that Valentine's Day should be celebrated. Without flowers.
... that a part of me will always be 8 years old.
... in colored Christmas lights.
... in being happy with where you are right now.

Randomness...

Saw this somewhere ... can't remember where & decided to do it.

FIVE things you wish you could say to FIVE different people right now

• I love you.
• I never want to move back east.
• Money doesn't grow on trees ...
• Can you cook the turkey?
• Do it yourself, dammit.

TEN things about yourself:

• I love magazines and coffee.
• Every time it snows I still get as excited as I did when I was five.
• I love long walks in the afternoon.
• I re-read books all the time.
• Every Christmas I watch Love Actually.
• I love nights in with my husband.
• I'm secretly jealous of photographers or anyone with talent behind a camera.
• Sometimes I can't believe that I'm married. It still feels like we're playing house.
• I hate scary movies.
• Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday.

SEVEN ways to win your heart:

• Make me breakfast, or lunch, or dinner.
• Clean the house.
• Buy me a book.
• Be there.
• Drag me up a mountain.
• Surprise me.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

• My husband.
• My dog's bad manners.
• School.
• What I'm going to do when I finish school.
• My family.
• Mountain adventures.

FOUR things you do before you fall asleep:

• Take the dogs out.
• Brush my teeth.
• Kiss the husband.
• Snuggle.

FOUR things you see right now:

• 2 dogs.
• A cat.
• A yellow tea kettle.
• TONS of candy.

THREE songs that you listen to often:

• Chicken Fried
• Long Day is Over
• Gettin' you Home

TWO things you want to do before you die:

• Climb Mt. Elbert.
• Adopt a dog.

ONE confession:

• I start listening to Christmas music in October. Early October.

It's Thursday night ...

I am so sleepy and it's so early. I wish I could explain how tired I am of studying. I feel like I've put up with a ridiculous amount of bullshit from adults this week. Way more than I used to when I had to deal with 125 15 year olds all day long. Frankly, I'd take the teenagers.

This week I ...

1. missed Charlie and my car. [He was gone for a bit.]

2. almost killed a guy in one of my classes. He called me a housewife. If looks could kill he'd be dead right now. I think what annoyed me the most was that he was so condescending about it all. So what if I was one? How does this make you better than me? Also, I'm not. I'm a full time student.

3. managed to spend $50 at Sprouts and the only thing I remember walking out with was yogurt. I have no idea where the rest of the money went.

4. spent 15 hours working on 1 freaking, stupid, worthless homework assignment. It was 10 flipping pages long. Not cool.

5. cleaned up dog puke. Awesome.

6. managed to spill candle wax all over a glass table. And still have yet to clean it up.

7. drank A LOT of coffee.

8. lost a wine glass. Ok, it broke. It's not like I got so drunk I misplaced it.

9. cuddled with my dogs.

10. am so sick of baseball. I don't think I can stand to listen/watch another minute of it.

11. ran out of wine. [Maybe it's because of all the baseball.]

12. got a free parking ticket from a very nice girl.

13. watched rain turn to snow. NOT COOL, Denver. Not cool.

14. decided Henry would make a good devil for Halloween.

15. did all the work on a group lab. Grrrr...

16. ate Wendy's.

17. and lots of lemon drops.

Looking forward to the snowy weekend. The hubs is looking forward to more baseball ...

Think they'll look like this by Sunday?

*Sigh*

So, I turned the job down. :(

A little background: I was offered a short term job (8 weeks) starting next week. However, the time conflicted majorly with school. I would have had to completely miss my Friday class (which, only happens once a week) and miss half of another class because I wouldn't be able to get there on time. This job would have lead to a full-time position next year, which is something I really wanted.

I decided not to take the job for a lot of reasons. But mainly, I already shelled out tuition money for the semester, which I can't get any back. And as Charlie reminded me, I did actually move to Colorado to go to school. I knew that working full time and going to school full time wasn't going to work. Even though it was only for 8 weeks, it would be enough to mess up my semester.

What sucks is that when I called to turn down the offer, the woman couldn't get me off the phone fast enough. I had really wanted to explain the entire situation to her so that she understood that I tried to make it work and that I hadn't just wasted her time by showing up to the interview.

I'm going to go take this guy for a walk and then study some more before my classes.

Ok, sometimes it's the big things

I don't believe in fate, karma, destiny, or any of those things. And I realize there are larger things than a job, like family, friends, etc. and all of that good stuff. But sometimes I think that if there really is a big man up there he's got one hell of a sense of humor. I can't get interviews for most of the jobs I apply for [ones that really, I don't want]. Internships have completely eluded me, in part because of the massive applicant pool and also because I keep applying for internships I'm not qualified for. But the jobs ... I'm way TOO qualified for.

And then there's the jobs that I really really want. The stuff that I did before I moved to Colorado and always had plans to return to. Those jobs, I get offers for, and because of some small, tiny detail can never take. I was just recently offered another one that would be nearly impossible for me to take because I happened to think it was a good idea to take a full load of classes this semester. It's too late to drop the class, but if I turn this position down, it closes a lot of doors. A lot. Stupid masters degree. Stupid Colorado state rules. Stupid me for taking so many stupid classes.

Ok, rant over.

July Confessions

... I seriously HATE packing. And am really dreading lugging all of these to our new place in 2 weeks.

... I should have listened to my dad when he said "Danielle, DO NOT put polyurethane on those chairs outside. Do it in the garage". Um, yeah .... not such a hot idea.

I'm going to add my own advice here: don't have your black dog hanging around outside when you are coating white chairs with polyurethane.

... I'm a little scared of hiking Pikes Peak. It's a lot of climbing and I have done a lot of sitting outside and drinking beers lately. Not exactly the best way to get in shape.

... I'm the most anti-social person on airplanes. I think it's because once you start making conversation with someone there's no way to stop and 4 hours is a long time to talk to someone.

... I'm worried we didn't do the best packing job and not all of our stuff will make it 10 minutes down the road.

... I can't sit through Harry Potter. Any of them. Sorry, they're just way too long. I did read all the books, though.

... I hate Charlie's air purifiers. They're ridiculously ugly.

... I'm eating chips and dip for lunch.

... I should be packing right now.

April Confessions

when I look at this I want another puppy.

... i LOVE the rain.

... I was more excited about going to the bar before the baseball game than the actual game itself.

... I'm a little nervous about hiking Pikes Peak this summer. Ok, make that a lot nervous.

... the reason I have yet to buy shoes for our wedding is because I plan on wearing flip-flops and I don't feel like arguing with my mom about it.

... The other night I made dinner out of noodles and broccoli. No sauce, no spices, nothing. It was literally the only thing we had left. If you look in our refrigerator right now you'll find beer, coffee, and bread. And I went shopping on Sunday.

... I cannot wait to plant flowers outside. And get a hammock for our patio. And drink beer in the hammock while staring at my planted flowers.

... I'm actually kind of glad our T.V. broke. It's amazing how much time I don't waste now.

... I could listen to Kenny Chesney 24/7.

... My favorite thing to eat for breakfast are Boca "sausages" dipped in syrup.

... I cannot stand Walmart. Not exactly sure why.

... I'm actually kind of upset we didn't get tickets for the O.A.R. concert in June.

Randomness of the day.

... I am officially discouraged about finding a dress for our rehearsal dinner. I went to J.Crew and tried on a few dresses there but they made me look like I had 3 feet wide hips. Damn you J.Crew and your fabulous clothes. Why can't you make clothes for people with curves?

... C came back from Hawaii with presents. Yay! His present for me was a $150 dress that he got so I could wear it when I came with him to HI next year. Now ... the idea was sweet. Very sweet. According to him he told the saleswoman that he "wanted a tight dress for his fiancee". He got what he wanted. The dress was tight. After trying it on I decided that there was no way I would wear the said dress enough to make it worth the $150. He then suggested that I wear the dress to our RD. I laughed. My family's pretty conservative. The dress definitely showed off my bootylicious ass. I'm sure that's just what our minister will be hoping to see that day. Along with my father. The dress got returned. Sorry C. He claims I never keep any of his presents. I think he's right, but hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

... I have been putting off reading this book for class. As a result I have to read half of it today just to finish it in time for tomorrow. Ugh ... why can't I plan ahead like a normal person?

... The weather is SOO nice outside. All I want to do is go hiking. Instead I'm stuck inside studying.

... I officially ran out of toilet paper this morning. Again, maybe if I didn't procrastinate so much this wouldn't be an issue. Must run to Target.

... It was so nice to have Charlie home yesterday. Aside from having a buddy around to split stupid house chores with I really missed him.

... I really with people would stop asking us if we're going to have kids and how many kids we're planning on having. I also really wish that people would stop giving their opinion about it. If I had $1 for every time someone said, "You can't have just one. You have to at least have 2." I'd be a rich woman. Well maybe not rich ... but I'd have enough money to buy the quilt I want. I just don't understand it. First of all, you can have just one kid. They are not something that generally comes as a set, like boobs. And second of all, why do you feel like this decision is something that you should be a part of?