the house is still a mess. and it's really starting to annoy the crap out of me.

unfortunately i won't be doing much about it until after dec. 8th, which is the day that i have 2 finals, and 2 20-page papers due.

not too sure i can procrastinate with all of that coming up.

charlie and i decided that this year we're only doing stocking stuffers and baked goods for x-mas presents. this was slightly more my idea than his, considering the fact that initially he wanted an LED tv. pretty sure those don't fit in stockings.

one of the perks of working for a big company (for charlie) is the insane employee discounts. this can also be a bad thing when they're all big ticket items like tvs, and appliances, and cars.

my parents and sister are coming for the holidays. i told my dad about our small and minimal present idea. he was definitely on board, although this didn't surprise me considering the fact that every christmas morning the first thing my dad says is "these are way too many presents. this is getting ridiculous".

i went to go buy our thanksgiving turkey the other night after work and did not return home with one when the cheapest turkey was $40. i should mention it's only charlie and i this year, so the turkey was 13 pounds (the smallest they had).

$40 is a lot of money for a tiny turkey that i'm not guaranteed not to burn/undercook/set on fire.

must go write more papers, read more papers, and attempt to clean the house.

ps. i bought some black and white cookies from whole foods and ate them all in one night. i am a pig.

life, papers, and a cozy little apartment

so i mentioned in my love letter to our jeep that we now had full ownership our little patriot.

this was no accident. charlie and i made a few executive decisions about money, houses, and our little car.

side note: charlie's always hated that jeep. you see he traded in his wrangler for it because of things like "practicality", "responsibility", and "maturity". charlie loved the wrangler. me, not so much. i'm not really a "let's put the top up and down several times a week for fun" kinda girl. but ever since we paid the patriot off he's been saying things like "jeep we love you. please last forever". so sweet.

anyway, charlie and i are renters. and previously we were thinking that sometime around next year-ish we'd start looking for a house. i really, really love our little apartment and if it had a 2 car garage, a yard, and i could paint the walls i'd stay forever. but it doesn't and i can't. (oh, wait i did.)

however, the thing about us buying a house is that it's sort of permanent.

charlie works from home, the lucky duck, but i don't. and since i graduate in may, we decided it probably would be best not to ground ourselves and limit our options before seeing what the next year or two are going to look like.

also, the other thing about buying a house is that it is a lot of debt. and since we already had debt from the jeep and student loans, we decided it probably would be best to get out of the debt we were in before adding to it.

such a boring decision. but it had to be done.

the deal was, that if we were going to stay in our little apartment. there was a few things i wanted to do to make our lives here a little more comfortable.

1. i wanted organize the garage.

exciting stuff. but between bikes, canoes, skis, storage, charlie's work stuff, and a car. it was getting tight.

2. i wanted to move the tv off the mantle.

i hate our tv where it is. a. it's too high and b. the wires hanging all over drive me insane.

3. charlie wanted the office rearranged.

he's all "it sucks in here". and he was kinda right.

4. curtains.

we hung curtains in our bedroom and office and i hate them. so i have to do something cheap about it.

all of these are works in progress. i'll let you know how they turn out. and if you have any suggestions feel free to throw them my way. the problem is i go from a "loving bright colors" phase to a "loving neutrals" phase.

for now i'm off to write 3 20 page papers, which i probably should have started back in september. but the good news is there's only 5 weeks of school left and then 1 more semester. crazy.

good thing i have lots of help.

waiting for superman.

this weekend waiting for superman came to colorado.

being the education nerd i am, we went to see it.

we don't have kids and whenever we start to talk about it, i always come back to "where would we send them to school?"

growing up i always figured i'd send my kids to public school. no questions asked. but after being in education and after learning more about the education system, i think you have to ask the questions before shipping kids off to the local school.

both charlie and i are products of public school. although, we're also products of parents who brought us up emphasizing the importance of school.

the movie was definitely and interesting one.

they threw a lot of facts and numbers out. i'm assuming to get people's attention.

and it worked ... there were definitely collective gasps from the audience when stats like the percentage of students who passed state examinations (ranging from the teens to about 40% in the "good" states") came up.

and of course, there was a very compelling graph showing the dollars spent on each student per year since the 1970s. let's just say there was not a positive correlation between the amount of money spent and the number of kids graduating high school.

as a teacher, i think they tried to make the issue simpler than it really is.

after watching the movie my impression was that they wanted to make 2 conclusions:

1. the public schools suck because teachers suck and as a result of tenure we cannot get rid of these sucky teachers.

2. the answer is charter schools. invest money in schools that don't have the same rules applied to them as the rest of the public schools.

now obviously, this is me oversimplifying the movie and charlie (who watched it with me) didn't see it the same way.

either way, whatever your opinion of the movie was, there's no denying that our public schools are in some serious trouble. and there's no denying that in a lot of areas, parents are forced to send their kids to schools they would never pick, if given the choice.

my life lately ...

lots and lots of tea.

and lots and lots of reading.

i'm trying to get better at blogging and taking pictures.

i swear.

i do it for me, really, so that when i look back i can remember what the heck was going on in my life, as in, the every day stuff. i mean we all remember to bring the camera when we go on vacation or celebrate the holidays, but sometimes the regular stuff doesn't get quite the same attention. and although life has been busy lately, i don't want it to fly by too quickly.

especially since it's fall now. at least it's trying to be fall now.

last weekend charlie ran the boulder sunset triathlon.

it was 90 freaking degrees and it was his first race.

i was pretty proud of him.

here he is before the swim, super nervous.

i didn't get a lot of pictures and i will say that i should have brought the zoom lens.

in other news, i cut my hours back at work which has allowed me to have a bit of a life, be a good student, and occasionally grocery shop and vacuum the floor.

it's also given me enough time to actually walk the dogs again, which is good for my thighs, my sanity, and the dogs of course.

we also said goodbye to some of our friends this weekend. :(

they moved out to colorado around the same time we did but decided to move back to be closer to friends and family.

as much as i totally understand the friends and family part, we're going to miss them.

there was lots of pumpkin beer and jack daniel's involved in their sendoff.

i also bought henry a halloween costume.

he's a rabid squirrel.

he's not that crazy about dressing up as an animal he usually is in pursuit of.

(i realize this may throw me into the category of "crazy dog lady", however i still believe that "crazy dog lady" is better than "crazy cat lady")

for some reason this picture reminds me of the wolf in little red riding hood.

"my grandma, what big teeth you have".

except henry doesn't eat kids. i promise.

*sigh*

this weekend was supremely lazy.

i mean aside from reading multiple massive policy papers, pulling out my fall clothes (ok, more like 4 sweaters), washing the mutt, and doing 14 hours of laundry, i didn't do much.

and neither did this guy.

this whole work/school combo has my head spinning all day and night long.

all the reading i've been doing for school feels like it's just one, long paper and when we discuss these things in class i find myself referencing different papers than the ones we're discussing.

although, the good news is that they're all so alike it's not always obvious that i have no clue what we're actually talking about.

i've been having the craziest dreams, too.

although i don't usually remember the details when i wake up.

if i did, and freud was alive, he'd have a field day with my subconscious.

i've just pretty much accepted that for the next 8 months i'll be no fun.

and i'm really ok, with that.

i could {obviously} take less classes, but that would mean more semesters in school and i'm pretty much over being in school.

the more classes i take, the more i realize that i'm sort of a misfit in the world of environmental science scholars. i'll be happy when i have my diploma.

ps. no judgement, but i sort of (ok, really want to) see that movie easy a.

so i guess i'm staying. (for now)

first, em. i owe you a huge phone call. does this weekend work?

school started for me this week and i'm definitely missing my carefree summer days. it's going to be tricky trying to find a balance between work and school and sanity. i'm trying to work a deal out with my boss right now as far as my hours go. hopefully, we'll come to an agreement that will work for everyone and still allow me 8 hours of sleep and night and some time to study.

although i purposely avoided all engineering classes this semester, i went the other direction and know will be spending all of my time reading and writing papers.

i keep telling myself that i have 8 months of school left.

just 8 months.

charlie and i have been debating about trading my car in.

now, i'm seriously one of the cheapest people ever.

spending money stresses me out like nothing else.

i freaked out when i bought a bike.

i freaked out when we bought a computer.

of course i'm freaking out about a car.

the biggest reasons right now for getting rid of my car are:

1. it sucks in the snow and winter. now that i'm no longer a teacher i don't have the luxury of being off work when it snows.

2. we have two large dogs (which don't fit in my tiny car).

3. when we drive to the mountains, which happens pretty often, my car can't make it up the steep grades so well.

4. if we ever have a kid there's no way i could fit a kid, all of its crap, and the dogs in the car.

oh, AND i just found out (like 2 hours ago) that my car was recalled. congratulations toyota, you suck.

of course the recall thing sucks for me if we decide to keep OR get rid of the car.

i did have a great visit with my parents (and for a very short time, my sister) two weeks ago.

they recently adopted a kitten and a year-old chocolate lab.

meet clayton.

(don't let his sweet face fool you ... he's a lot of work!)

and winston (churchill).

pretty sure my sister named this guy after her high school.

weekend & the future

i cannot wait for this weekend.

between sleeping in, drinking multiple cups of coffee, 70 degree weather, i'm excited.

of course i'm not excited for the mountains of school work i have to do on saturday.

but at least i get to spend sunday drinking beer in the sun and watching the rockies play.

lately, i've been pretty overwhelmed with everything.

not so much what's going on right now ... but what my life's going to look like in 2 months.

i'm trying to knock some credits out of the way this summer (or switch programs), but it's hard when you go to a school that offers about 4 classes in the summer.

i've decided to do an independent study this summer, but that involves finding an advisor that's willing to take on my project. this is also hard when you work 8-4 and by the time i could get down to denver everyone's left for the day.

i also have no idea what "work" is going to look like next year ... or in june for that matter.

i've been trying to make a lot of contacts & am practically paying people to look at my resume, but i just don't know.

i like where i am now, but if i stay for next year (which i don't even know if it's an option at this point) i'll have to go back to school for my teaching degree. i don't really know what working full time, getting my masters, and teaching certification would look like.

i'd probably turn into a totally crazy person.

sometimes i wish charlie was in school with me ...

he looks at the weekends for playing and i look at them for getting school work done and cleaning the house for the week.

it's getting hard to find time to spend together ... by the end of the day or week i'm happy just to collapse on the couch with a movie or have some friends over and he wants to go skiing all day or go out in denver.

have i mentioned that i really, really hate going out?

i'd rather hang out at our place or the bar on our block. the idea of getting dressed up, paying money for parking, and a stupid amount of money for a beer that i have at home, and then having to stay up past midnight is just so not my thing ...

hopefully, i can use this weekend to catch up on school work, write some of my term paper, clean the apartment, play with the dogs, and hang out at the rockies game. oh, and maybe figure out what the hell i'm going to do in 6 weeks. *sigh* is it wrong to wish that this was a time where something could just fall into my lap? like a permanent job (that i want)? or free money for school?

ok, i know i've posted this before.

but really, he's adorable. and makes my day so much better.

Denver

I'm lucky enough to go to school in Denver.

At first I thought I was going to hate it. I'm really not a city person.

But the more time I spend there, the more I love it.

It probably helps that Denver's so tiny and easy to get around.

And now it's all decked out for Christmas.

Here's what my walk to the bus stop looks like every night.

walking down Larimer. after crossing under the creepy part of Cherry Chreek.

15th and larimer.

16th & the clock tower.

ps. i don't know how people take pictures when they're alone in public. i felt like such a creeper and i wasn't even trying to get the random strangers in my shots.

Today I ...

forgot how old I was. This guy in my class asked me how old I was. (In response to me telling him I didn't have kids ... which already makes me feel old.) Do I look that old that when I tell you I'm childless you have to double-check to make sure I haven't passed my child-bearing years? Ugh.

Anyway, he asked. I wanted to say 24. Then I realized that not only was I not 24 but the only reason that sounded right was because Charlie and I had previously had a conversation about how old Tulowitzki is. He's 24 in case you're wondering. [I happened to know that, which I think should score me some mad "awesome wife" points.]

After realizing I was not 24 I was torn between 25 and 26. [Please keep in mind this is an actual debate in my head. I seriously could not figure out how old I was.] So I went with 25. Sounded about right. And I like the age 25. Smack in the middle of your 20s ... a good place to be. After telling him I was 25 I realized that couldn't be right. So then I told him I was 26. But that sounded too old. So I went back to 25. (At this point he's looking at me like I have 5 heads, and like he's sorry that he asked.) But then I realized I just had a birthday. So I decided (again) on 26.

Then, trying to explain my stupidity, (I mean really, what kid over the age of 1 doesn't know their age?), I tried to explain that I was confused because I had just turned 26. Didn't work out so well.

This really has been a long week. Can't wait to explain environmental economics to 30 people tomorrow. I can barely explain it to my dog.

P.S. I realize there are about 100 grammatical errors in this post. It's late. I'm tired. Let it go.

Some weeks ...

are just rough. This is one of them for me. I knew this week was going to kick my ass from the start; I just didn't realize how much. Last night I got home from an insanely hard test (the kind where you can't even remember your own name afterwards) and then a hard class after (the kind where the professor calls on people at random through out the night. Oh, and I get called on a lot because my name is "cool" & was in a Bob Marley song.) Last night it went like this:

Professor: [insert my last name here] Can you pronounce this word? It's french. You're french.

Me: The only french word I can say is my name.

Professor: Ok, well then tell me why this friction coefficient has units of time.

Me: I have absolutely no idea.

Professor: Do you think that Manning knew when he made up this equation?

Me: Probably not. That doesn't make any sense.

Professor: You're right. He had no idea.

What?!

Then I get home ... ate dinner ... and changed into some comfortable clothes. A few hours later I realized I put my shirt on backwards. The only reason I realized this is because I was wearing an old lifeguarding shirt and when I looked down I saw a giant cross & thought, "that can't be right". Then I realized that the thing that had been poking me in my neck all night long was the tag for the shirt. Thats right, last night I lost the ability to successfully dress myself.

I am looking forward to spending a part of this weekend cuddled up with my animals. Oh, and reading the new Dan Brown book. If I don't read it soon Charlie's going to tell me what happened and that would just not be good for our relationship.

Random thoughts.

... the weather was so nice today. I keep thinking it's spring and then remembering it's only the beginning of March. At least daylight savings time is this weekend.

... We had the dogs at the vet on Friday. Apparently Dunkin is still a porker and needs to lose some weight. We've been giving him a lot of exercise lately so that should help, along with the fact that I just cut his food back again.

This is him now ... after gaining about 10 lbs.

... and this is the slim kid. Many moons ago.

... There are days when I can't remember becoming an adult. It all just feels like a dream. I think I'll wake up and be living dorm room style back in college or [even worse] in the vet clinic again. I feel like the older I get, the faster the years go by. We've been looking at houses and people always ask if we're going to be having kids and how many. I can barely take care of myself! I'm not even married yet! Kids are far, far away. But it freaks me out that I'm entering that stage of life where having kids would be normal. [I still think it's a rude question for a stranger to ask, though.]

... I have had the attention span of a gnat lately. I have so much reading to do for school and I can barely get a sentence in before my mind starts wandering.

... The more time I spend in class the less my major actually interests me. This actually scares the living sh!t out of me because not only did I give up my career and move across the country to pursue this degree but I also uprooted C as well. I'm hoping that this is just a phase and I'll get back into it. Maybe if I stopped being so cynical ....

... I swear Henry is the most awesome dog ever. I realize that everyone says this about their dog but he just has the best personality. He's so friendly, he always makes me laugh, he's such a goofball and has no regard for what he 'should' be doing. He also always seems to be right there whenever I need some company.

Don't all dogs sleep with cats? This is actually his annoyed look. I woke him up.

... I love the quotes on Starbucks' coffee cups. The last one I got was:

"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work,

in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal

critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade

around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your

head as the barrier to your life."

I liked this one because I have a huge fear of commitment. I don't like to live in once place too long, I don't like to stay in a job too long, I like to do something different every day. Ironically the only thing I've ever been able to commit to is C. Our relationship is the one commitment that doesn't scare the crap out of me. It actually makes me feel safe. When I think about having a job for a long time or even living in one place for a long time I feel scared. I like knowing I have the freedom to move or change or just do something different. Maybe buying a house isn't such a fabulous idea ...

... I'm trying to convince C to take a beach trip in July. In North Carolina. He didn't seem too excited about it. We'll see. I don't see what's so crazy about driving 24 hours just to go to the beach.

I could definitely go for some of this right now.

The search for free Wi-Fi in Denver

So on Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to class in Denver. (I call these days my productive days.) I have two classes with about two hours in between each of them and for the past four weeks I've been searching for the perfect spot to sit, drink coffee, and put off reading during my break. I quickly ruled out Tivoli (the student union) because despite being in a cool building it was loud, crowded, and my only food options were McDonald's and Taco Bell. Uh ... I'm trying to fit into a wedding dress in three months and I don't think chicken nuggets, milkshakes, and sour cream filled tacos are going to help me. So campus was out .... I started to wander off. Starbucks was the first thing I found (don't act surprised ... they're only on every OTHER corner these days) and I stayed there for a while. BUT ... just last Tuesday I found out that Starbucks makes you pay for wi-fi. Don't they make enough money off of lattes and Ethos water? So Starbucks lost my business. I never really liked their coffee anyway, I just liked their view of the Rocky Mountains. So ... I found out that Caribou Coffee offers free wi-fi and also happens to be my favorite coffee chain and I decided to check them out today. But Caribou is a good 10 or so blocks from campus and on my way there I found the Corner Bakery, mmmm. Gotta love their paninis and I was excited to see that they offer free wi-fi. Which is where I am now, putting off creating a management plan for elephants in Africa. We'll see where I end up next week. I'd stay here but I can't connect to Gmail chat which is my favorite form of procrastination where I can send C messages every 10 seconds and pretend like I don't see him all the time. He loves this, don't let him fool you.

Ugh.

I don't know exactly what I expected grad school to be, but I definitely did not expect my HUGE tuition bill to go towards watching The Lorax in class. Thanks, but I read the book when I was 5. Grrrr ..... ok, I'm done complaining.

It's Finally Friday ...

First week of School:

Ok, so first of all I was so excited to be going back to school. It's something I always knew I had to do, even if I kept teaching, and I was really excited to be able to get a degree in something I'm interested in as opposed to something that wouldn't have been terribly useful to me. Just a few things I've learned my first week back:

1. It's expensive! These are the first classes that I've taken since I got my bachelor's that weren't at a community college or that I wasn't reimbursed for. Let's just say that out of state tuition at a university is no joke. My bank account hates me right now.

2. The books that you have to read usually aren't that interesting. Ok, maybe interesting isn't the right word; they are interesting just not attention grabbing. I'm a science major, reading about the economy is tedious for me!

3. I am so glad that I took some time to work before going back. I feel like I've grown up in a lot of different ways and I definitely have life experiences that should help me.

All in all, it's good (and a little scary) to be a student again.

---------------------------

On another note, here are my adorable animals proving that cats and dogs can love each other. (Or at least co-exist peacefully).

The original crew soaking up the sun.

Aren't they the cutest? I'd like to think that they lay together because they love each other so much. In reality it's the best sun spot in the morning. Notice that Henry is way to busy and important to have time to lay around in the sun all day. He's probably off destroying a toy somewhere.

--------------

The difference between men and women (or maybe just me and C):

I went on a small cleaning spree today and as I was cleaning the kitchen Charlie comes out and looks at me:

C: What are you doing?

D: Cleaning the kithen.

C: Why?

D: Uhh...it's dirty?!

C: No it isn't. I wiped the counters down last week.

Although I can't complain about him not cleaning. He cleans the bathrooms (thank you Lord) and splits the vacuuming and kitty litter with me.

------------------

And lastly our heat wave has officially ended which Mother Nature celebrated with some snow. I guess I'll have to wait until spring for some more 60 degree weather. :(