Thursday, January 15, 2009

Dear world:

Dear cats (Toby and Ollie),
Why must you be so damn annoying? Why can't you sleep at night? And why did you have to eat my meatloaf sandwich today? Didn't you know that was for me and not you? I hope you realize that your cuteness does not make up for the fact that I am so very hungry right now. Don't you know that there are plenty of hungry coyotes outside waiting for a nice meal? Be good or you might be dinner.

Dear wedding planning gurus,
Please come take care of the rest of mine. Find a D.J. for me. Worry about flower arrangements and bouquets so that I don't have to. Order me invitations and the please address them (with return address) so that I don't have to. Oh, and while you're at it can you some how make my guest list match my head count for the caterer while still making sure that everyone is happy? Thankssomuch. I have a long list of other things you can complete for me if you're interested.

Dear State of Colorado,
Please give me a job. Pretty please. I'll take the crappy one that you dangled in front of my face today, really I will. Also, please don't take all of my money come tax season. It was very expensive to move to your silly state and I'd like to keep the rest of what I have. I promise to give you large chunks of my paycheck if you give me the aforementioned job.

Dear University of Colorado,
If you could somehow get me into the classes I need I'd love you forever. And if you could somehow make my tuition bill shrink by about 200% I'd be forever grateful. But really, just let me this semester. I've given up a lot to come to you, like a career. I promise to stop complaining so much if I can just take a class or two.

Dear Superior,
Either A. build your own freakin' library or B. pay Louisville more money so we can use theirs again. I am not made of money and I cannot live without books.


Katherine said...

Funny because I wrote a "Dear Pittsburgh" letter in my blog just last night. I was telling it that windchills at -20 were not appropriate and should be reconsidered so that I can train for a marathon in comparatively balmy Antarctica. Yes, Pittsburgh is colder than Antarctica.

Great minds think alike :)


Anonymous said...

ugh ... i'm so over winter. i actually considered writing a letter to the season and asking it to leave but i thought it might be a bit early. i mean i guess i have to give it january and possibly feb...we'll see.